“Ära päri – saad ruttu vanaks!” Tabudest ja mahavaikitud teemadest argisuhtluses ühe samaealiste tutvuskonna näitel
“Curiosity killed the cat!” Taboos and hushed-up topics in everyday communication on the example of a peer community

Summary/Abstract: There have always been topics in human communication which are not shared or discussed with anyone. Approaches and attitudes also differ by generations. This article opens the topic of silence from the viewpoint of my own generation – those retired by today. The article is based on the data collected via direct interviews and discussions from about half a hundred informants, and in addition to that also memories and indirect observations as well as radio broadcasts. My questions were concerned with undiscussed or taboo topics in families, work or friends’ communities but also among casual acquaintances or total strangers. The topic of discussions expanded as is characteristic of folklore: one word grew out of another and one story from another one. I grouped the most significant repetitive motifs into topic areas. It turned out that for years people have kept silent about family secrets, diseases, sex, relatives who fought on the ‘wrong’ side of the front or fled into exile. The most frequent reasons for the silence were attempts to save someone from resentment or an unpleasant situation; taboos also emerged due to official prohibitions and orders as well as caution due to political circumstances.

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